Bruise Control

Red Wings Cruisin' to a Bruisin' Game One Win

Bruising Hockey Play

The bruising, punishing hockey play does not dissuade my enthusiasm for the Stanley Cup finals. Non-violent though I am, I'm a Red Wings fan, pure and simple.

You may have read my other hockey post where I mention my high school boyfriend was a hockey player. There began my love of the game. The boyfriend is long gone, but hockey remains in my heart.

Too bad the Detroit Pistons are playing in the Eastern Conference Finals at the same time. My son, who played hockey from kindergarten through junior high, is Tivo-ing the Pistons. Sacrilege.

Sports analysts are touting youth, the Penguins, over experience, the Red Wings. In hockey, I think experience has distinct advantages. The Red Wings are a finely-honed crashing, smashing, bruising, scoring machine.

They even scored a fourth unnecessary goal just because they could. Just because they're experienced doesn't mean they can't act like in-your-face youth.

Stay tuned for Game 2 televised tomorrow, May 26 with Yahoo Sports.

Testicular Swelling

Swollen Testicle

I never thought I'd be writing about testicular swelling until I read about the Philadelphia Flyers' Patrick Thorensen receiving a slap shot to the groin. Talk about taking one for the team.

My boyfriend from High School was a hockey player. It seemed as though whenever we would break up, and I didn't watch him play, he got injured. Around our fourth break up, his sister calls me at midnight to say "S" was hurt. I'm thinking, "It's just another ploy for sympathy." Not quite. He took a stick to the mouth and, while not a "ruptured testicle," his jaw was broken.

Have you ever kissed someone with their mouth wired shut? It's like kissing slippery rubber bands. But I digress.

I know someone who suffered from a severely swollen testicle as an adolescent. When I read about Thorensen, I thought again of this teen's story. A grapefruit-size swelling around his groin did not respond to any treatment until someone thought to apply a compress of [blank], the active ingredient in our NoBruise! towelettes. Within one hour, all swelling was gone.

We have contacts with the NFL but not the NHL. Can anyone reading want to spread the word?